21 Weeks, 4 days: pPROM

_{Preview: If you’re looking for pPROM at 21 weeks success stories, I hope mine gives you hope. My youngest child was born at 27 weeks, and is thriving.}

This post is part of a series where I share my pPROM story. My 7th child, Josiah, was born prematurely due to this condition of pregnancy.

I was released from prison hospital for good behavior. I now have bathroom privileges!

The last few days have been a Twilight Zone, a blur of what-ifs. So many unknowns. Several ways this pregnancy and birth could go, most of them scary and terrible. 

The official diagnosis that led me to the hospital last Sunday night/Monday at 3 AM was this: preterm premature rupture of membranes (pPROM). In laywoman’s terms, my water broke.

I stated leaking amniotic fluid at 10 weeks, convinced I was having a miscarriage.

pPROM at 21 Weeks is Terrifying

The vast majority of times, the mom goes into labor shortly after, which would have obviously dire implications for the baby. There’s also risk of infection for the mom.

Nurses administered two antibiotics by IV along with fluids. I drank water constantly, and stayed hooked up to a fetal monitor 24/7. I had two ultrasounds.

The good news:

• I have no bleeding. That stopped a couple of weeks ago.
• I have no uterine activity. No contractions means no labor. Baby is still cooking!
• My cervix is high and tight… no dilation.
• I have no signs of infection and no more large gushes of fluid.
• BABY IS STILL ALIVE AND KICKING. I’m still pregnant! There is hope.

pPROM at 21 Weeks: The bad news

• My amniotic fluid levels were 30-50% of normal, which is dangerous for baby and can impact his lung and kidney development.
• Baby isn’t “viable” until at the very earliest, 24 weeks (17 days away). If he comes before then, he won’t be able to breathe. If I can stay pregnant until 24 weeks, I can begin steroids to hopefully force his lungs to mature.
• The likelihood of my making it to term is about nil. I’m preparing myself to deliver a micro-preemie who may not live for a day or make it out of the hospital, or if he does, will likely have multiple serious health problems and require months in the NICU.
• I go back to the hospital at 24 weeks for medications, and I’ll stay there until baby is delivered via C-section at 34 weeks. Or if I go into labor, whichever is sooner.

I’m so happy to be back home.

I’m on strict bed rest with only potty privileges, taking two antibiotics, a handful of supplements shown to improve pPROM outcomes, and drinking so much water I pee like a racehorse.

But it’s 100% better than being in hospital, away from my little ones. I cried every day, missing my youngest, still my baby. I got to see her once a day, but I ached for her.

At home, I can read aloud to my littles, do schoolwork with the bigger ones in bed, help them through the emotional strain of all of this, and cuddle them.

My fridge and freezer are full of food people have brought. Mom and dad moved in to assist… and for that I am so truly thankful, as this would be so much more stressful if they weren’t here.

Little guy is a fighter.

Every ultrasound, I hold my breath. Each time I hear the thump-thump-thump of his heartbeat or see his tiny limbs waving on an ultrasound, I’m surprised. I’ve expected to say goodbye to him several times. Each time he has shocked me. Staying pregnant this long, we’ve already defied the statistics several times.

I’ll be re-eadmitted to the hospital in a couple of weeks. I dread it. But I know it’s what I have to do to give him a chance. He hasn’t given up, and I’m not giving up either.