Preview: Why I stopped doing the Trim Healthy Mama diet after successfully losing weight on the plan.
Ask a mother what her favorite smell is, and she’d likely answer as I do: newborn baby. What parent hasn’t sunk their nose into the soft fat folds of their baby’s neck or their downy soft hair, and taken a deep whiff?
After the birth of my 7th, an extremely premature baby, my sudden donut cravings puzzled me. Most days, as I made the long trek from my suburban home to the downtown hospital where my baby was in the NICU, I caved to the siren call of the artisan donut shop nearby.
Finally, it struck me: donuts smell yeasty and sweet, similar to a newborn infant. Preemies don’t have that smell. Grieving the loss of a normal, healthy pregnancy and birth experience led to my donut obsession.
Many people land here after searching for information on the Trim Healthy Mama eating plan (hi!). I found the diet when I was eager to lose stubborn pounds I’d gained courtesy of those postpartum donut cravings.
I’ve since abandoned the plan for good. Why would I do that, when it worked? Here’s why I stopped doing Trim Healthy Mama.
The Problem with Diet Culture
Diet culture wasn’t on my radar several years ago. But now that it’s part of the collective conversation, I don’t want to support it.
What is diet culture? It’s the pervasive cultural belief that appearance and body size are more important than overall well-being, and the idea that controlling your body through strict attention to food is desirable.
Diet culture is dangerous.
In its mildest form, it creates this illusion that you cannot be completely happy unless you have the ‘perfect’ body shape. This can lead to low self-esteem and social anxiety. In its more dangerous forms, diet culture can exacerbate mental health conditions such as eating disorders.
Babylon Health
So what’s the alternative? We know that growing obesity rates are a public health crisis. Should we disregard maintaining a healthy weight? No.
One approach gaining momentum among dietitians is intuitive eating. Here’s a list of its 10 principles.
I love this. When I embrace a more balanced approach to eating (like a French woman), I’m happier and healthier.
Our (pretend) lovely young Instagram dietitian says avoid Trim Healthy Mama.
Eat what you want, when you want, paying close attention to how food tastes. Being mindful leads to automatic portion control and prevents unhealthy thoughts and behaviors around food.
Separating Carbs and Fats is No Fun
The Trim Healthy Mama diet stipulates creating meals based on protein + fat, or protein + carbs. Sounds easy enough.
The problem is, carbs and fats together are what makes food delicious and satisfying! Bread without butter, pasta without olive oil, beans without cheese?
THM rules suck the fun out of eating, and eating should be pleasurable, full stop.
Mindfulness is essential to intuitive eating. Turns out, when we focus on pleasure and are fully in the moment, we eat naturally eat less.
Because protein + fat meals (in THM parlance, “S” for satisfying) are so much tastier, I ate them most of the time. That meant I wasn’t eating enough carbohydrates.
This is a common struggle among THM followers.
The official Trim Healthy Mama Facebook group is flooded with posts asking, “how can I eat more E (carb) meals?”.
Not eating enough carbs is a problem. It causes mood and energy levels to tank. Low-carb diets can also be dangerous for pregnant and nursing mothers and those with thyroid issues.
Sugar Alternatives Taste Like Sadness*
I enjoyed very few THM desserts. Out of the dozens of recipes I tried, only 2-3 actually tasted good. I prefer to indulge in a little sugar from time to time. Making sugar forbidden increased my cravings. This is a common occurrence according to diet experts. (source)
According to my research, stevia in small amounts is likely safe. But the other artificial sweeteners used in THM are controversial. Erythritol, an ingredient in THM Gentle Sweet is problematic. (source)
*p.s. if you get this reference, I’ll send you a Littmus lozenge.
THM Requires Obsessing About Food
Being “on plan” requires doing more planning, shopping, and thinking about food than you would otherwise.
Even if you avoid THM specialty ingredients, it’s simply more fuss to cook. Eating out “on plan” is difficult too.
In addition, some of the THM substitutions simply aren’t acceptable to one’s family. Cauli mash isn’t fooling anyone. My family craves real spuds.
Keeping everyone happy at dinnertime means spending more time in the kitchen preparing separate dishes. Ain’t nobody got time fo that!
Bye-bye, Budget
Grocery prices are going up, and we’re all feeling the pinch. If you’re doing Trim Healthy Mama, saving money on groceries will be tougher.
Budget-friendly foods include rice, potatoes, pasta, bread. All are either discouraged on THM, or require specialized ingredients or exclusive, time-consuming recipes.
Beans are on plan for “E” (carb) meals, but eating them without fat, as required for the THM plan, is unappetizing. Love beans and want to eat them more often to save money on food?
Enter your name and email address to download my free printable, 30 Days of beans.
Dieticians Dislike Trim Healthy Mama
Bona fide experts in the field of nutrition have very little positive to say about the Trim Healthy Mama eating plan. A quick Google search will plainly show this.
The sisters (Serene and Pearl, creators of the THM merch empire) admit they have no education in the area of medicine or nutrition. Their books pull from their own anecdotal, not evidence-based experiences and experiments with various diets, and from reading books and studies.
The problem with this?
It’s extraordinarily difficult to understand medical journals as a layperson.
Reporters and bloggers often muck it up when they try to paraphrase research studies, often arriving at precisely the opposite conclusion as the researchers.
A health book written by uncredentialed people should be taken with a grain of salt. If the diet “works”, it’s because the follower is eating fewer calories, period. This is likely why people have success with THM: because the complicated rules naturally lead to less consumption overall.
I wonder why the sisters have dieted so much. They’re both willowy. My intention is not to criticize their physical appearance. But it raises the question, why are rail-thin women dieting in the first place? I legitimately wonder whether they’re orthorexic.
Abusive Ideologies: THM and Fundamentalism
Fact is, I did lose weight on the diet, and I got a handle on my emotionally-triggered sugar cravings. Here’s the crucial reason why I stopped doing Trim Healthy Mama.
Serene and Pearl’s mother is Nancy Campbell, publisher of the Above Rubies magazine. Above Rubies promotes THM but not the other way around. Why?
My guess is the controversy surrounding A.R. would hamstring the THM business. Trim Healthy Mama has exploded from just books into food, skincare, makeup, CBD and other supplements, kitchenware, and a licensed coaching business.
Above Rubies is controversial because it’s aligned with a number of harmful groups. The Quiverfull/Gothardite/International Basic Life Principles movements are fundamentalist, evangelical, patriarchal, high-control groups that encourage abusive practices such as spanking of infants.
These groups recently got widespread attention in the Shiny Happy People docuseries.
(Note: I’m respectful of everyone’s right to choose their religious belief, but not all religious behavior is worthy of respect, legal or permissible. Any comments supportive of the above-named groups will be immediately deleted.)
AR is not an organization I want to give any financial support to, even in the most roundabout way. I won’t link to AR here, but encourage you to do your own research about this organization and what they stand for.
A few places to start:
The Child Catchers: Rescue, Trafficking, and the New Gospel of Adoption – a shocking chronicle of abuses perpetrated by evangelicals in the area of international adoption. Don’t want to buy the book? Read this discussion.
Orphan Fever: The Evangelical Movement’s Adoption Obsession – this expose (and the book linked above) mentions Serene Allison, co-author of Trim Healthy Mama.
Trim Healthy Mama: Is It a Cult?
Because I was raised in a cult, I spent years educating myself on high-control groups and undue influence. Coercive control exists on a continuum, from constructive and healthy to destructive and unhealthy. Just because a group has rules, for example, doesn’t make them a cult.
However, THM shares some features of a high-control group. The many rules, the exclusive jargon, the moralistic talk of foods being “naughty” or “cheat” meals, the intimations that fatness is sinful, the shame felt by people who leave it – it’s legalistic in tone.
The first THM rule book was extreme. The sisters wrote another without all the fundamentalist stuff. Check out the Amazon reviews to see what I mean. Honorable mention for off-the-charts cringe: The section called “Semen- Gotta Love It!“. I’ve had 7 babies and I’m no prude, but that brought up a mental image I didn’t need to have about your “husbandly owner”. And no dear reader, I’m not making this stuff up.
One of the hallmarks of a high-control group?
The leaders must never be criticized.
When I asked for more information about the sisters’ adoption debacle in a THM forum, I was shamed and verbally attacked. Never mind the evidence, our savior leaders are flawless. Everything negative about THM or the sisters on the internet is lies, according to devotees. Now drink your KoolAid, I mean Good Girl Moonshine, or else.
Did you know that if you wear rose-colored glasses, you can’t see red flags?
How I Maintain a Healthy Weight Without Trim Healthy Mama
That will be a topic for another post! This one’s long enough. Meanwhile, I think I’ll enjoy a donut.
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I got blocked years ago for posting that everyone should do their own research on what is good for THEIR body and not just follow a plan or use an ingredient blindly. Question everything. Ohhh, they didn’t like that — even though you bring up the admission that they aren’t dietitians of any form! Wayyyy culty.
Thanks for your comment Rebekah! Not being “allowed” to research is a huge red flag isn’t it?
Thank you so much for writing this! I just cannot get started because there is so much to always have to plan and think about. I know the plan and have been lurking for about 4 1/2 years. I have so many opinions about things and I know that you are not allowed to question things. How can you “own it”? The sweeteners are rough on me too and I am looking for a better fit, closer to Paleo with intuitive eating.
I actually do not appreciate this post… it makes me wonder what your deeper hurt is… there are so many people out there sharing their beliefs and trying to get others to follow and at the end of the day we all have to choose… in a culture where we are literally dying from over consumption of sugar which leads to inflammation which is the root cause of most of our diseases, I find it ironic that you are bad mouthing people who are trying to help others see another way. I personally have been following them for years and I have never really focused on separating carbs and fats but I most definitely have changed my life from being off of sugar and white flour ( which turns into sugar). I’m pretty sure any nutritionist would get behind that. As for their personal lives, I’m thankful for their honesty and openness with what they do share and personally am a little jealous of the way they can do life as a close knit community. Right now our culture is telling us ‘you do you’ …but that’s the opposite of what you’re criticizing. I’m just wondering what you were hoping to accomplish with this post… when we attack and try to hurt others it is usually stems from our own hurt inside. I hope you can find true peace .
You hit the nail on the head!! THM is expensive and took up way too much thinking time to have a snack, meal, or even a drink!! The desserts were definitely not my favorite, and carbs and fat together is what helps make a meal satiating. I felt hungry all. the. time when following the THM plan. And yes, cauli mash can NOT replace mashed potatoes!
I’m not trying to get anyone to follow my beliefs. I’m sharing research here, and anyone can do what they like with it.
I have not come across a nutritionist who recommends THM. Happy to hear more about them if you’re willing to share.
One can certainly lower their sugar intake without supporting the THM business. I’ve been doing that successfully my whole life.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts Mandy. THM is confusing and overwhelming for so many people. You’re definitely not alone in that!
I’ll continue following the cult ? it healed my body and allowed me to carry my first of five babies naturally to full term. You do you though.
Good you’ve found what works for you.
I find this post is a rather sad one. Although I do not follow all of the THM rules I greatly appreciate Pearl and Serene’s commitment to helping others and sharing the truths of what they have found both nutritionally and also in what they have shared about the human need for positivity in order to experience optimum health. They would be the first to tell you to do your own research, referring freely to the sources where they found their information so that anyone can do just that. And if it’s so hard to understand what we read on the internet how do any of us who have no special degree in these things, know that we’re reading anything correctly?? Is that not the point of articles and studies, to explain to the public what has been found? One thing that has especially blessed me, is Pearl and Serene’s openness. They admit when they see they’ve made mistakes. It sounds to me like you have learned a lot of truth by following THM (such as needing more carbs). Pearl and Serene never said you can’t have potatoes or rice with butter, they only teach the truth about the fact that you probably won’t lose weight on it and then teach you how to do it so that you can lose weight if you want to. If THM sweeteners such as sugar alcohols do not agree with you, no one is saying you have to eat them and in fact I know of people on the Keto diet who say the same things. There’s nothing cultish or rule oriented about giving truthful guidelines for those who want to follow them if they choose. Paleo or Keto have just as many or more guidelines. It is totally everyone’s own choice whether they want to follow a particular diet or not. Perhaps Serene and Pearl are too skinny (I’ve sometimes thought so myself), that doesn’t mean we can’t apply the principles they teach in our own way. Are we going to stop listening to any other doctors and nutritionist just because many of them are too skinny as well? We are only accountable for our own choices. Perhaps Serene and Pearl make mistakes in the way they live their lives (don’t we all?) but I truly believe they are trying, right along with the rest of us, to do what they believe is right and a help to their fellow people as best they can.
Your experience is different than mine. The title of the post was, “Why *I* Stopped…” not “Why YOU should …”.
Appreciate the comment!
You write as if Pearl and Serene set out to create a toxic, money-making culture around their way of eating and that simply is false. This blog post goes into great detail on criticisms (health and personal) of Pearl and Serene WITHOUT at all explaining the history of THM or their hearts behind it… which is very misleading to someone who has never tried THM or knows nothing about it.
THM was never created to become as big as it is today. It was simply two sisters passionate about finding what worked best for them nutritionally. They explored a lot of different diets before stumbling onto this one. Once they found it, they were excited and shared what they were doing with their friends (who doesn’t do that?). Word of mouth caught on and they wrote a book to give out because they were simply tired of always explaining their way of eating. Was this first book meant to be a huge selling, health revolutionary diet book? I think the bad grammar and not great writing in it suggests otherwise. They wrote it like it was supposed to be a sit down explanation with friends. Did they mean to have a huge voice in the health world? No, like you said, they don’t have any health education; they were just passionate about finding something that worked well for them and people were naturally interested.
Their products tell a similar story. People who followed the plan want them. They kept asking for them because when this plan came out, there were not as many easily available health food options like pure stevia. People on the plan go crazy over them BECAUSE they make their diet easier and the products are not expensive for how pure their ingredients are.
They also are very honest with what they are learning and have very publicly admitted to mistakes in their understandings of foods. They also give more frugal ways to make their baking blend at home and even have podcast episodes about how to do the plan with no special ingredients and on a tight budget. Their heart behind this was never about profit, but to share a way of eating that revolutionized their well being. Its popularity is very organic. It’s okay if you don’t agree with their religion or lifestyle choices, but it’s not cool as a writer to mislead your readers on their true intentions and history of this diet. It’s also fine that THM doesn’t work with you and your family. I hope you find an alternative that better suits you.
Hi Ashton. I have no problem with someone making money with their ideas, that’s not at all what this post expressed. I also know the culture of Facebook groups is mostly out of their control. The information I link to is out there and it is well researched. It’s up to the individual to come to their own conclusions about how they spend their money and what causes they support. I’m humble enough to admit I was wrong when new information came to light, which is why I’m publicly admitting that. Others choose to ignore evidence and continue with their narrative to avoid painful cognitive dissonance.
Just because you don’t agree with everything THM doesn’t mean you should be so unkind. I’m sure there are “intuitive eating” advocates out there who are into the occult or who practice abortion, but I don’t see you dismissing intuitive eating based on those views?
Also IE has its problems too. Make sure to take off *those* rose colored glasses every now and again too 😉 Not every eating plan is perfect.
Hey Carrie! I found this post after listening to their podcast.
I am in remission from anorexia and still find myself drawn to their plan. That part of me loves the overthinking and the idea of being able to eat sweets and stuff without gaining weight. Unfortunately, I have also found a lot of the foods and division of fuels to be unsatisfying and sad. Unlike the sisters, i agree that you can eat “off plan” food and still have a pretty healthy diet. For so many of us, focusing on keeping our diet SUPER healthy isn’t best. The stress it causes me to try to stay on plan is more harmful for my health than the “off plan” foods. I still love salads and quinoa, but sometimes I like a burger with a bun lol ? (and i mean a real bun, not the bun-like concoctions).
For the women who find the plan doable and satisfying without turning it into seriously disordered eating, more power to them! I just wish they would respect that this isn’t possible for everyone.
Hi Amanda, thanks so much for your comment. My heart goes out to you as someone recovering from an eating disorder. It would be a huge concern of mine to venture into this eating plan, personally.
Carrie, just curious, what happened since you February 2, 2022, when you posted “ What I Ate Today, Trim Healthy Mama” on http://laslimfemme.com?
I have been listening to these ladies for over 3 years. And guess what. I don’t even do the diet. I did it for two months back in the day. I have never felt judgment from their podcasts or videos or Facebook. They are a breath of fresh air weekly. They give me encouragement for life and make me smile.
I am not a fan of ad hominem. It’s disrespectful as well as lacking logic. You are free to follow what ever you want. But ripping on the character of others as an excuse to do so is unkind.
I have never viewed education as a means of authority or professionalism. I view experience as a means for authority and professionalism. Not that education is not good. It can help. But we can ? educate ourselves. Any homeschool mom knows the merit in this. Our world has it so backwards.
I never understand the reasoning behind ripping on others. I just don’t see how it profits anyone. If I decide not to follow something. I can explain my reasoning without dragging people through the mud. I am sure you can as well.
Hi Claudia, I understand your cognitive dissonance because I’ve felt the pain of that too. And I didn’t engage in mud slinging. The mud is already out there, I am pointing it out so others don’t step in it.
Research happened. It takes courage and humility to change one’s mind when confronted with new information, no?
I’ve looked into it several times as an alternative to the usual low-carb way of eating I normally try to adhere to… I think I actually first heard about it from your blog posts! But I just could never get on board. As you mentioned in this post, I could never reconcile the thought of carbs and fats being separated. You can have one but not the other in the same meal? Didn’t make sense. Didn’t sound like it would taste good. And it seemed super complicated to keep track of! I don’t have the time or energy for all those rules.
Totally agree!
Sharing well-documented facts isn’t unkind. It makes some people uncomfortable, but for me personally, I’d rather know the truth of a matter than be fooled by nice-sounding falsehoods.
I really think THM created an eating disorder (binge eating) in me. I did lose a good amount of weight on it several years back, but actually my mental health was in shambles. I was a mom of 3 little ones at the time, and honestly I probably should’ve been eating more. I was alwayssssssss hungry, and would hurry up and eat my meal, just so my 3 hours would start sooner (for the next meal!) I was constantly cooking, prepping, researching, and if I was on the road, I would take a quest bar and eat that as a meal as it was on plan (at the time.)
Actually, in the beginning, I wasn’t hungry at the 3 hour marks, but because the rule was to eat, I would make myself eat! Then, I guess I’m trained my body to do that!
I had headaches all the time, once in Wal Mart, I almost passed out from what I assume was low blood sugar or something. I felt so painfully hungry, I went and bought a bag of M&M’s at the checkout, ate them, sat down a minute and then was fine. When I started introducing non thm foods back into my diet, I started gaining quickly. I’ve gained ALL the weight, PLUS a bunch, BACK. I’ve tried many time to follow the plan again, but I can’t because I feel so painfully hungry…so to fix that, I eat more, but that turns into binge eating to fill that void. It’s really a vicious cycle. Yet when I eat, say, bread with butter, or beans with cheese and rice, I’m full for longer! All I know is them created an unhealthy relationship with food for me.
Hi friend! You didn’t say what your name was ?
Your experience sounds similar to mine. THM made me food obsessed and wasn’t at all “food freedom”. And I did struggle with low blood sugar unless I did S “helpers”.
For me now I’m able to maintain my weight quite easily by taking a more intuitive approach and not forbidding ANY food, just being mindful of portion size.
I also walk a little every day and lift weights a couple of times a week – nothing crazy just challenging myself a bit at the gym.
I hope you find what works for you! Thanks so much for sharing your experience.
I both like and dislike THM – I have not particularly been on the plan for about three years now. I developed orthorexia because of this “lifestyle” BUT! … It has helped me become healthier, finalize my allergies, and made me enjoy vegetables and fruits where as before, I was not too fond of those food groups.
I am no longer as food obsessed as I was. I no longer think of food 24/7 – I have room for other things to worry about. I still make some of their recipes, I am still in the groups (on my other FB page) but I no longer use it as a full time thing in my life. It’s a guideline for a healthier life.
Am I mixing FP, S, E and doing lots of crossovers? Yes. Am I happier and definitely healthier? Yes.
I gained back who I was and control over food by doing a year of nutrition and dietetics schooling *dropped out/planning on doing it again* – but I don’t follow one specific diet anymore. I was a diet hopper and now I’m a diet mixer. One thing I focus on the most is filling my plate with protein, carbs, and fruit/veg (especially for dinner if I don’t get enough during the day) – not one or the other.
It’s been about four years into recovery, and I can finally say that I have enough food freedom and control now that I can look up and read about THM/add in THM recipes or others like Keto and Paleo and not get sucked into it again.
Thanks for sharing your experience! I love finding reminders of why THM is not a full-time sustainable life for those days I get stuck in my ED mind.
I appreciate this article and all the comments. I followed serenes raw food journey, I tried it for a little while but it was way too much work. I was annoyed that after selling lots of books, she didn’t make it public (through the AR magazine where most of her sales came from) that the raw food had made her very sick. I wasn’t doing it myself but I thought it terrible that others might be still following it. I did do THM for a while, but I didn’t like that EVERYDAY the sisters were in my head space. Nothing against them but I figure thinking about people who aren’t your family or friends every day isn’t healthy.
I read the first part of your article with interest but then as your tone changed (cough cough), and your sarcasm came out into the light, I had less respect for the whole read. Stick to the facts, m’aam, just the facts.
How come no one is addressing your most important reason…the whole religious cult and adoption scandal ordeal. I’ve had huge problems w THM bc of this and I tried to write Pearl to hear their side of the story but never heard back.
I like the recipes so much but couldn’t get past this, so the only way I can follow the plan is if I never support them directly but I even have issues with this. I never would buy their products directly. Not sure what to do…I try to think I don’t know their side of the story but it all sounds so crazy.
Exactly Jennifer!! Because when one is associated with a cult they don’t know it and can’t face it.
So I have spend the last like 4 hours trying to find some type of secular community that follows THM and I can’t find a thing. Your blog post was the only thing close to what I was looking for. I followed the plan and had much success but then left my faith due to things I just could not reconcile and also left THM groups bc the culture was what I had just left. The THM groups claim to be welcoming to all, but I don’t see that. Do they just delete comments of people with these concerns? I can’t find a single post or comment in the group that shares the same concerns? I was contemplating starting the plan again, but I’m just trying to begin again I’ve been reminded why I left.
Yes I do believe they delete negative comments. This information is out there and I cannot be the only person disturbed by the allegations of abuse and other issues.
Thanks for this post Carrie. You make a lot of valid points that I have not seen addressed elsewhere. I am a mainstream churchgoing Christian, but my family was involved in a cultlike fundamentalist church when I was growing up, and I have problems with that world due to my personal experience. I agree with you 100% about the disturbing connections to Quiverfull and international adoption, but that really doesn’t have anything to do with the THM eating approach.
I have been following THM for over 5 years. It worked really well for me at first, I lost 60 pounds and saw many positive health changes including breaking a severe addiction to sugar. Since then I’ve been through menopause, and since THM has not really focused on that phase of women’s health until recently, I have found myself looking for answers elsewhere. However, I still eat THM meals, because I believe the basic premise of THM, separating carbs and fats, does work better then anything else I have found.
You are right, it is a lot of effort to really follow the plan at the beginning, especially for people who aren’t used to cooking everything from scratch. But there is a lot of support available from coaches and their facebook groups. I’m not the ideal audience for the main THM Facebook group but it does offer a lot of encouragement, useful information, good moderators, and a fun positive atmosphere for newbies. I differ with you about a couple of things: I don’t see THM as a cult, and I disagree that THM promotes diet culture. It is the opposite of diet culture imo. They have truly helped a lot of people get themselves and their families healthier. There is a great deal of medical and scientific research which aligns with THM’s focus of balancing blood sugar, eating whole foods, avoiding processed foods and empty carbs, etc. THM also has aspects of intuitive eating with the emphasis on food freedom and listening to your body’s hunger cues. They have recently started to focus on the challenges of menopause, hormonal health and metabolic flexibility.
I don’t happen to agree with some of the sisters’ political and religious opinions, but there’s no pressure to agree with any of it. People can take what works for them and ignore the rest. You don’t have to buy their cookbooks or any of their products, almost everything is available from other sources, and you don’t have to listen to their podcast, which can be a bit … how should I put this … exuberant in directions that don’t interest me. I see that you’ve gotten some snippy, defensive responses to your post, and I wanted to speak up in support of the more fair-minded and reasonable viewpoint, which absolutely does exist and thrive in the THM environment. All the best to you in your health journey, Carrie, and again thanks for sharing your experience.
Thanks Jane for your well thought out and balanced response. I appreciate it!