Tuesday Gratitude

I woke to a text from my daughter-in-love (my son’s girlfriend). She lives downstairs, in my basement apartment.

She sweetly asked if I was up. Why? Because she awoke to several rooms underwater. There’s nothing quite like starting the day with a flood!

It’s a yucky, helpless feeling, splish-splashing in my *Birkenstocks. Wading through the bedroom, storage room, hallway and garage, I felt as if my bones were made of lead.

As a newly divorced, female head of household, I find home repairs especially stressful.

First I had to locate the source of the water and attempt to safely plug it, figure out who to call to resolve the leak and remove the water (and could I trust them?), while worrying about the financial impact and logistics of cleanup.

Today is a good day for a gratitude post.

Reminding myself of what’s going right is one of the quickest ways to shift my mood.

To clarify: I’m no fan of toxic positivity. Healing from my past includes embracing all of my emotions. I no longer shame myself for having “negative” emotions.

Still, being paralyzed (“freeze” is my typical trauma response) is unhelpful when your furniture is floating.

So, doing a gratitude exercise is helpful to me to help me get unstuck.

I’m grateful for friends.

I’ve lost a lot of people in the past couple of years, and there’s a crap-ton of grief I’ve had to process.

But, I’ve made it a priority to reach out to people and not isolate myself.

As a result, I have a very special new friend. And I’ve reconnected or nurtured relationships with older friends. I recently met a longtime online friend in person for the first time.

As they say, friends are the family you choose for yourself. And I’m so grateful for them!

I’m grateful for my emergency fund.

While I’ve made a lot of money mistakes, I’ve made some good decisions too. One of the best?

Prioritizing financial margin, savings in the bank for emergencies. Homeowner’s insurance will cover the damage to my home, and the emergency fund means I can cover the deductible, no sweat, without going into debt.

If you’re struggling to save an emergency fund, I got you girl.

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I’m grateful for relationships with my kids.

Six of my seven kids live on my property, and our relationships are stronger than ever.

My children give my life purpose. I don’t have the same existential struggles that many people who share my particular brand of trauma do.

Last weekend when my 22-year-old son drove me to the airport, he thanked me for “raising him right” and for “being an exceptional woman“. For that, I’m extraordinarily grateful.

I’m grateful for COBRA.

Just one reason (of several) that I quit my job? I discovered that my health insurance “benefits” were not discounted. I’m paying the same amount to continue my coverage through COBRA.

I could write an entire post about how the American version of capitalism, which makes the USA a “developing first world country“, keeps people tied to horrible jobs and how insurance is a product, not a benefit, but I’ll instead link to people who already have. The U.S. is considered a “flawed democracy,” according to The Economist’s democracy index.

Stepping off my soapbox, I’m grateful for the ability to continue my health coverage through COBRA.

*Thankfully, I had the wherewithal to don my rubber Birkenstocks, so they were none the worse for wear.