I know, I know.
I’m feeling a little kvetchy since I’m in my third trimester. But I can’t help it. People are just annoying when you’re this pregnant.
Last weekend I saw a lot of people, and it seems every one of them have to do one of the following three things. Can you relate?
Touchy-Touchy
Yeah, I get it. It’s a miracle and all. I’m glowing (whatever) and all. It’s poking way out there and all, but seriously? It’s not a good luck charm. No genie will pop out and grant your wishes if you rub it.
And need I remind you? It’s a baby, yes, but it’s still inside a part of my anatomy. A part of my anatomy that would be off limits to your hands under any other conditions. My breasts are enormous right now too, want to rub all over those as well?
And let’s talk about the staring for a moment. Yes, I realize that my belly is huge. Comical, even. But so is your nose/that zit on your forehead/your beer belly/your tuckus but you don’t see ME staring do you? Let’s have a little self discipline, ok people? Staring just isn’t cool.
Gender Predi(le)ctions
What are you, an armchair fortune teller? It’s really annoying when people convincingly say “It’s a boy!” because I’m “carrying low“. (Especially when their sister-in-law standing next to them is convinced that it’s a girl because I’m “all out front”.)
Sorry folks, but I’ve “carried” every baby I’ve had the exact same way: all out front, and low. Babies do not know their sex, and they do not know that they are supposed to lie a certain way in the womb to please your crazy old wife’s tale. As if that were possible.
Midwife Wanna-Bes
“Are you sure it isn’t twins?” “Are you sure they have your due date right?” “Oh, the baby is lying THIS way” and other such comments. So annoying.
No, my team of 4 health care professionals and myself (who tracks her cycle, including cervical mucus quantity and quality, putting a check mark on it every time hubby and I get it on, etc) are wrong and you’re right. We’re way off on the dates. Never mind that although my belly seems large to YOU, I’m measuring exactly the number of centimeters I’m supposed to for this week of my pregnancy.
And yes, it IS twins. Should I send the next payment to you instead of my midwife? (Since you can tell there’s two heartbeats from a distance, without silly newfangled gadgets like ultrasound and Doppler!)
And even though that same team of people says baby is head down, butt up, obviously you know more about it (since you or your wife were pregnant once) and baby is lying sideways.
But the worst of all are the impatient ones.
TRUST ME, noone is more eager than I am to have this baby out. I hate being pregnant, and much prefer labor, delivery and the newborn period to this discomfort. But your eagerness for me to go into labor is just annoying.
“Girl, you’ve dropped!” “You look like you’re ready to pop!” “You have how many weeks left?”
Please. Be patient. These comments just make the last couple of months even more miserable. It also makes me want to avoid you and stay home.
Sometimes I feel like saying: “I’m pregnant. But you’re obnoxious. And I’ll have the baby. Where does that leave you?”
Ladies, tell me I’m not alone with this!
Me Bad!!
I’m soooo sorry. I did ask if you were possibly a little further along than you thought. And I thought maybe the baby was sideways. I think you’re beautiful when you’re expecting, even more so than when you’re not. But you’re right about people taking advantage of the situation to get all touchy feely. Maybe when they rub your tummy you could rub theirs back. That would shock them!
Miss Lila
Yes, yes, yes! I had a SINGLE, CHILDLESS, MALE co-worker go on and on during my whole pregnancy about how huge I was and how I must be having twins and oh-my-gosh-you’re-STILL-PREGNANT! Ugh. Barf.
hmmm… You should just be grateful you are able to carry life and enjoy the “annoying” people that are happy for your blessing, they mean no harm.
Oh yes…..I endured many comments, scathing looks, and strange well-wishing wisdom passed on to me during my 3 pregnancies. The scathing looks were people thinking I was a knocked up child bride. I had to constantly flash my wedding band at them, or give them a scathing, momma bear is gonna eat you kind of glances as well. With my 3 child I was huge. I gained almost 50 pounds with him. With that being said, I CONSTANTLY got the twins comment. And the cankles ( calf-ankles ) comments, and YOU’RE going to burst comments. People knew better than to rub my belly because every time they came near it I would give a look good enough to kill…LOL Hang in there! After it is all said and done you can just look back and laugh at it….sometimes. LOL
I’m glad you understand how I was feeling Chloe 🙂
I so get this. I am 7 months and I am so annoyed at some people. Here’s what I am sick of:
– people talking about what “will” happen to me ie. if I say I don’t miss alcohol, they say, “oh, you will, just wait till the summer” (well, guess what, it is summer now, and I still don’t miss alcohol); I say “I’m lucky I don’t have any stretch marks yet”, they say “oh, you will, just wait till [insert whatever month here]” (well I’m 7 months and still don’t – maybe I will, maybe I won’t, but why can’t you just be happy for me that I don’t right now??)
– “Do you know what the sex is?” and when I reply, “no, we want to be surprised” they say something like “That’s so weird. Your kid is going to be wearing nothing but yellow and green” – (1) I like yellow and green; (2) Who says my daughter (if it is a girl) can’t wear blue; (3) Are all of the baby clothes stores suddenly going to go out of business after my kid is born, so I won’t be able to buy any “gender-specific” clothing
Those are the worst two for me right now. I have many more examples of the “you will” comments. GRRRR!! You don’t know my body and you don’t know what I will do or won’t do, so STFU!!!
Lulu,
I know exactly what you mean! #1 is especially annoying since pregnancy is such an individual experience. Just because one thing is common doesn’t mean every woman will experience it. For instance, I experienced prolonged nausea and vomiting with all of my pregnancies – far past the first and even second trimesters. But EVERYONE would say how much better I would feel at 12 weeks. I wish!
Thanks for your comment 🙂
OMG i know how that feels i have two children already and they dont annoy me but my bf i cant stand and i feel so bad cause he loves me so much that im always hurting his feeling.. what i hate the most are the comments of how low my belly hangs and i look weird and how im having a conversation and everyone interrupts just to rub my belly sometimes i just feel like telling everyone off and thats not at all the real person i am but i just cant wait till baby comes out so i can go back to my self
Haha! I’ve been tempted to do just that!
Noticing that other people lack manners doesn’t mean I’m not grateful to be having a baby. The two are not mutually exclusive.