Gabrielle of DesignMom (whose blog I adore, mostly for her posts about her life in France) recently wrote about French food habits. If you’ve been reading here for more than 5 minutes, you know I’m mildly obsessed with French culture (food being a large part of that!). So, I read her post and every single comment with interest.
She mentioned two books that I’ve read and reviewed here: Bringing Up Bebe and French Kids Eat Everything. Since reading those, I began making small changes to our (already good) eating habits. Some of my favorite things about French eating habits are:
- No snacking. Mealtimes are when food is eaten, period.
- No eating on the run or in cars. Food and drink are consumed à la table.
- Kids eat what adults eat. Pickiness is not catered to. (Catering to pickiness frankly drives me nuts.) Children are encouraged to take “polite bites” and are expected to have good manners.
- Eating is a social event. Meals are taken en famille.
- Quality over quantity. Food is taken seriously, and care goes into selection, preparation and presentation.
- Moderation and variety. Nothing is forbidden, food is to be enjoyed, but excess is frowned upon. Variety means better nutrition without stressing over macro or micronutrients (which are constantly falling in and out of favor depending on the latest “study”. Another pet peeve!)
- Dejeuner (lunch) as the main meal. This makes total sense to me. Midday is when we are most active, so why not consume most of the day’s calories then? My 95 year old grandmother (her ancestors were Scottish) ate this way. “Dinner” aka lunch, was the biggest meal, and supper was light. I also notice, when I read about the eating habits of early American colonists, that they “earned” their calories before breakfast. For instance, it was common to rise early, do an hour or two of farm chores, and THEN sit down to a moderate sized breakfast.
These are all values I hold dear, although some of them are harder to implement than others, especially when the culture around you has no rules when it comes to eating.
And that’s the thing about America and food: we have no actual food culture. No rules. Anything goes.
People here are constantly snacking and eating junk, or going to the other extreme and doing crazy diets (that typically exclude entire food groups, most of which are totally unsustainable and end up costing our health in the long run – don’t get me started!) in the name of “health”.
The French have obviously figured something out, because without obsessing over diet, they manage to live longer than almost anyone in the world, enjoy their food more than we do, and stay slim. (Their kids even have less ADD.)
What I wish is that I had a friend who was French, or at least an American expat living in France who could answer a few questions for me about the things I find difficult about the changes I’ve tried to make to our eating habits. Such as:
How do you go several hours inbetween meals?
Eating lunch at 12 and then not again until 8 or so sounds impossibly long to me. I have a moderate sized breakfast, always sitting down at a table, and I’m still hungry again at 11. Even waiting until 12 seems hard some days (maybe because I’m still nursing?). French kids eat a gouter (snack) at around 4 to tide them over, but adults? Non.
Alors…. how do you stop your kids from grabbing snacks from the kitchen?
My children are expected to be obedient, but this is one area where I can’t seem to get compliance. My kids, even the baby, are always walking in the kitchen trying to raid the fridge. Even with frequent reminders, they’re always trying to grab a snack.
I suppose in France there is a stronger deterrent: for one, social stigma. And secondly, I imagine French kids would be punished for this, since there is a belief that adults are in control of food. (Although I believe this too!)
How do you get your family to slow down at the table and linger?
This one is tough. Even I struggle with it. My husband and I have come to the conclusion that things like public school and working in corporate America have trained us to wolf our food down in less than 30 minutes. Probably a lot of truth to it.
I’ve definitely been encouraging my kids and hubby to eat slowly – it’s discouraging to spend an hour cooking only to have the meal disappear in 10 minutes! Hubby has developed some digestive issues that I think are related to plain eating too fast.
And it boggles my mind to think of the French babies and toddlers I’ve read about, who are patient enough to sit for hours-long special family long dinners.
Is a light breakfast something your body adjusts to?
Many Americans eat a larger breakfast, courtesy of habits handed down to us from our British, German and Northern European ancestors, but the French (like other Latins) have smaller breakfasts. I would love to have a smaller breakfast, but can’t really get my family signed on. They like the proverbial sawmiller’s breakfast.
In recent years especially I’ve tired of cooking a long, involved breakfast. It can easily take me 45 minutes to an hour to cook breakfast for my crew, and I don’t enjoy that first thing in the morning. I even wrote an ebook with breakfast shortcuts.
Ever since I was a child, I’ve woken up so hungry! (Of course, eating dinner at 8 might mean I’m not as hungry in the AM). My kids seemed to have inherited this trait. (Interestingly, my ex-husband, who is the father of 4 of my kids, was never a breakfast eater. He’s from Canada, which is of course influenced by French culture. And I just now made that connection while I sat here typing this out!)
On eating meals in courses: do you really do that every day?
I’ve read that even babies in daycare in France eat 4-course meals (veggie starter, main dish, cheese, then dessert/fruit). Eating meals in courses sounds like a lot of work, and a lot of extra dishes. I do it occasionally. I understand that eating in courses makes you feel more full with less food, and also helps create a more festive atmosphere.
Since reading about the eating habits of the French, one of the bad habits I’ve mostly broken is eating in the car. Just yesterday, when I was unexpectedly out and about at lunchtime, I decided to take the kids into a restaurant for a quick bite, instead of going through a drive-thru. (I even ate my burger and fries with a fork! I also eat pizza with a fork. It really does help me slow down my eating, and I just ignore the funny looks!) This morning when hubby and I stopped for a coffee, I insisted that we get out of the car and go inside, and I ate my almond croissant on a plate with a fork. I think we enjoyed the experience far more.
Have you ever tried to make counter-cultural changes in your eating habits? Was it difficult? How did your family like the adjustment?
Hi Carrie,
I don’t know much about French habits, but I do know Italian’s. Growing up, we basically had something small for breakfast, egg (one never two) were only once a week, if at all. We had a big lunch, which included first course usually pasta, rice or polenta, then the second course meat, fish or chicken with veggies, and of course bread. We didn’t have dessert unless it was a special occasion. We would eat gelato, while taking a passeggiata (a walk). There was a lot of conversation going on at the table, that’s what made us eat slowly. Dinner was light. Minestrone, or some kind of meat with salad. Meal time, especially lunch, were always a very happy time. Even fathers came back from work to be with the family at Siesta.
Emily
I love hearing about food around the world! I’ve read that Italians and French eat very similarly. Thanks for sharing!
The adults that I know do have a snack in the afternoon, when the kids do. For us it’s about 5PM when we get home from school. We have dinner between 7 and 8 usually. The kids do have many courses at lunch – but it’s not a big elaborate deal. It’s tomatoes with rice and olives, and a main course of beans and chicken, and a dessert of an apple. There isn’t always cheese, and dessert isn’t always a pastry or something sweet, it is more often fruit. I don’t find it hard to slow down to eat lunch, the biggest adjustment for us has been a smaller dinner – just cooking less so we don’t have so much leftovers since everyone in the house but me eats lunch outside the home.
Hi Carrie, I’ve just discovered your blog and am going through all the posts. I’m from the French speaking part of Switzerland (French is my mother tongue), which is very similar to France when it comes to eating habits, culture, etc. and lived in France a few years. I currently live in UK. I’ll try to answer some of your questions (maybe you already have the answers as the post is quite old but never mind, I’ll do it anyway).
Several hours between meals: many people have a light snack in the afternoon, such as an apple. The thing is, if you have a substantial lunch, which is the norm in France, you don’t start feeling hungry before 5:30-6pm, and then you wait for dinner because you don’t want to spoil your appetite (couper l’appétit). This is what people tell their children when they try to grab snacks (ne mange pas maintenant, le dîner sera prêt dans une heure, tu vas te couper l’appétit!).
With regards to lingering at the dinner table: it is conversation that make you linger, in addition to eating slowly. Children are expected to stay at the table until the food has been eaten and the parents decide that dinner is over. If the adults linger and finish their wine slowly, or between the main course and dessert in case of a longer meal (for a celebration for example), children usually ask if they can leave the table and go play. If everyone has finished their food, the permission is usually granted and they can sortir de table. If someone is still eating, this is a non!
The light breakfast is something I’m just used to now. Many nutritionists on French TV say that the common French breakfast of baguette, jam and coffee is not the way to go though as people get to hungry between 10:30 and 12.
I really like your blog, I’ll continue reading now.
Thanks so much for your comment!
I imagine that French parents must reinforce the message that adults are in charge of food quite strictly from a young age. My little ones won’t keep out of the kitchen/fridge/pantry even though I constantly remind them when I see them doing it that they must ask me first!
I think it’s super hard for parents outside of that culture to have these types of rules, because in France everyone is reinforcing the parents’ wishes. Here, people randomly give your kids candy or food without asking. 🙁
Thankfully my kids aren’t anything close to overweight because I feed them healthy. But even with the older kids, keeping them at the table for even longer than a few minutes has been a struggle! I need to work on the conversation aspect. We do talk a lot since we eat meals together (and since they’re homeschooling), but I really love the family dinner experience and need to develop some little tricks to keep them talking at the table… any suggestions?
Thanks again and please keep in touch!
Another way of getting everyone to stay at the table longer is to do what the French do, serve the meal in courses. You don’t need new plates for each course, which saves on washing dishes, just use a little bread to wipe your plate down in between. Serve the salad or vegetables first. Because the children will be hungry, they’ll eat more of them. Then bring out the main dish, then cheese or dessert. Yoghurt or fruit are both healthy and very common French desserts. Fancy or rich desserts are saved for the weekend or special occasions. Wait until everyone is finished eating and has had a break before bringing out the next course.
To answer the going several hours between meals, people often don’t. They’ll have some sort of snack alongside their children if they have kids and prepare a goûter, and if they aren’t rushing home to kids, they might stop for an apéro (an after-work drink) that will likely be accompanied by chips or pretzels or nuts or something. Kids often eat dinner earlier than the parents and are put to bed so the parents can dine together much later. In that case, the parents might eat a bit of what the kids are having (joining them in a bowl of soup during the entrée–or first course) and then eat a larger meal later. During the week, kids don’t spend longer at the table than necessary because the older ones have quite a bit of homework, and school doesn’t let out until 4:30pm. That answers the grazing question, too.
Kids don’t snack between meals other than the goûter because they’re in school from 8:30am to 4:30pm four days per week. (Wednesdays depend on the individual school–many have programs again now, after a period of several years where younger children didn’t have school at all on Wednesdays, but children aren’t required to attend school on Wednesday until middle school, and it’s only a half day for those who do attend, regardless of age.) It’s illegal to have vending machines in schools, and the kids are given enough time to eat their lunch, which helps. That said, I know plenty of French children who are picky eaters and come home half starving because they’ve hardly touched what they had at school. I think the biggest difference between French and American children’s eating habits are income-based. Lower-income kids in France are probably about as likely to have processed foods with less variety, but the in the US, even kids from higher income families tend to still eat processed, boring food. That doesn’t happen as much here. Family’s that have the money to spend on higher quality food do it.
Multiple courses, as others have stated, tend to be simple. One course may be soup or salad, then the main dish will be meat and a vegetable, possibly with some sort of grain, as well. Dessert is usually fresh fruit or a yogurt. The “cheese course” in a French school cantine is a choice of one or two cheeses, not a full platter of options. And like everyone else, the French are also starting to realize that maybe they’re using too much butter and cream and whatnot. Most people I know are starting to replace heavier creams with soy or almond or rice milk or something when they cook.
I can’t answer the breakfast question. Even when I was growing up in the US, I never had much appetite soon after waking. I need a while before I can eat anything substantial. Sometimes I skip it altogether. But breakfast here, for the record, is cereal just as often as it is in the US. Croissants and pains au chocolat and the like are rare treats, not a daily occurrence.