When Crystal Paine announced that she was offering a $10 Starbucks gift card to anyone who bought her book instore and posted a pic to social media, I was all over it.
That is, until I realized how harsh the lighting is at Barnes and Noble. Whew! Check out the dark circles people. I’m also in bad need of a bang trim. Forgive me.
I already had a digital copy of the book and had reviewed it, but was toying with the idea of buying a real copy. I find that I don’t absorb ideas as well when they’re presented in digital format. (I doubt I’m alone in that, by the way, and this is one reason I don’t have an e-reader.) I like to read a really good non-fiction book with a pen. And even though I “highlight” text in a Kindle app, I don’t go back to re-read those thoughts. Also, you can buy me pretty cheap. Starbucks gift card? I’m there.
Seriously though, there’s more to my decision to buy this book however. For the last few weeks I’ve been feeling unusually stressed, and I know something needs to change. I’m just not sure what. (I’ll explain more about this in a later post, as well as what I intend to do about it.)
I’m hoping the book will help me – I’m not usually in “survival mode”, and I normally have a good grasp on my life and my time, but I am feeling tired and overwhelmed in a big way right now.
As I re-read through the book, I have decided to document my thoughts and notes here and invite you to share those with me. What do you think?
Thoughts on Chapters One and Two
In these chapters, Crystal urges readers to create a “personal priorities” list to help distill their values and focus on “core competencies” – a concept borrowed from one of my other favorite authors, Laura Vanderkam, who borrowed it from someone else. Core competencies are things we’re awesome at, or things we can’t outsource – loving our spouses is one, cleaning our homes is likely not.
I wrote these down for myself.
My core competencies are:
* Being a good wife, friend and helper to my husband
* Mothering my children well – and while educating (homeschooling) my kids isn’t necessarily something I can do better than anyone, it’s a personal priority)
* Healthy cooking for myself and family
* Supporting my health with daily movement, adequate rest and self-care
* Writing and blogging
My personal priorities include:
* Nurturing my spirituality and relationship with God with daily Bible reading, study and prayer
* Being a good wife and friend to my husband
* Mothering and educating my children and honoring their unique personalities
* Committing to my growth (intellectually and otherwise) as an individual by reading great books and learning French
* Keeping myself healthy with good food, daily movement and rest
* Building my writing income and saving for a trip to France
I’ve thought about these concepts before, but never really put them down on paper until now. It feels great to have them written down… and also gives me a bit of permission to feel overwhelmed from time to time. It’s clear that I take on a lot. Sometimes I have these little conversations with myself that go something like this:
Me:
“Wow, I’m feeling really stressed lately. What’s up with that?”
Wiser Me:
“Well, the baby’s going through a clingy phase (18 months – separation anxiety is typical at this age), and she won’t let you put her down, as well as waking you at night. The 3 year old is also in a challenging phase and is really asserting her individuality, which can wear anyone out. Plus, you have more kids than anyone you know in real life. AND you homeschool them. AND you have an online business that earns money to help support your family. And you have some complicated, stressful situations with the ex-spouses you and hubs deal with. Plus, you’re not neglecting your husband or your spiritual life – you read your Bible every day, study a couple of times a week, do volunteer work once a week and attend worship twice a week. The house is pretty clean, at least once a week it gets a good scrub down – and you’re learning a new language! Cut yourself some slack lady, you’re no slouch! You’re just really hard on yourself.”
Me:
“Yeah, I guess you’re right. It’s just that I feel like a kid with her hand in the cookie jar. I want all those cookies, but my hand is too full to pull it out of the jar. All these things are important to me and I don’t want to change them or drop anything. I guess I just need to be patient. Babies grow so fast. In a couple of months things could look totally different.”
So that’s where I’m at. I’ll share another installment in a couple of days.
Hi Carrie, I too have conversations with myself, only the wiser me doesn’t always win.
I just got the book too. I have yet to read it as I am still reading The Ministry of Motherhood. Looking forward to learning from Crystal though.
Nell
Hi Nell, long time no see!
Ha! I understand that too. 🙂