Things to Do Instead of Shop: How to Feel Happy for Free

_{Preview: 12 things to do instead of shop, and a list of things to do to feel happy for free, including a downloadable dopamine menu.}

Your plan to do a no spend month is going swimmingly… for the first week.

Then, it hits you. That creeping, crawling itch.

The sight of your favorite clothing store makes you break out in a sweat. The coffee shop with her ever-present siren song makes your minivan pull into the drive-thru on autopilot.

Let’s face it.

Sometimes we get the urge to shop when we don’t need anything. Or when retail therapy just plain isn’t in the budget! What can we do to scratch the itch to spend money when we shouldn’t?

Below, I share a list of 12 things to do instead of shop. And there’s even a free downloadable “Dopamine Menu” (dopamenu!) you can nab.

Why Tho?

But first, why do we crave shopping in the first place?

_{Photo by Andres Ayrton}

It has to do with brain chemistry. Similar to the reason why moms get addicted to their phones. Shopping lights up the pleasure and reward centers in the brain. This article sums it up nicely:

“First, the reward system identifies a target and causes the brain to release dopamine. This makes the brain believe it will get happiness or pleasure from what you’re craving.

This desire for immediate gratification blocks your prefrontal cortex from weighing your long-term goals against the craving.

Next, your body releases stress hormones that make you feel discomfort or pain. The stress essentially tricks the body into believing the only way to feel better is to succumb to the craving.”

Wow.

Thanks a lot, brain! I thought you were my friend.

Have you ever picked at a hangnail because it feels good at first, but then can’t stop until you tear the whole thing off, leaving a bloody cuticle? It’s the same mechanism at work.

Dopamine helps us see potential rewards of our actions. It also motivates us to take action to move toward those rewards.

It’s why we get up off the couch and fetch something to eat, get a job, find a cute boy to get us pregnant, etc.

Dopamine dysfunction is why people with ADHD struggle to get started, but also struggle to stop (hyperfocus).

For some people, if they’re feeling sad, shopping will make them happier because it restores some control in their lives.

Why Does Shopping Feel So Good?

As it turns out, other, more positive “control-restoring activities” can make us happy and better about our lives.

Here are 12 things to do instead of shop. Remember to grab the dopamenu freebie at the end!

1) Go All Marie Kondo

Take everything out of your freezer, closet or pantry and wipe down the surfaces. Then put each item back, one by one, after cleaning it off. Or tidy a drawer, cabinet or closet.

The area will look better, giving you a little happiness boost every time you encounter it.

When Marie Kondo tells people to ensure every item they own “sparks joy”, she’s talking about brain chemistry (while being adorable and having perfect skin).

Decluttering an area or tidying it up can make our brains happy while we’re doing it, and after we’re done as we admire our handiwork.

2) Donate Stuff

What if you made a pact with yourself that before you could shop, you had to get rid of something first? A one-in, one-out rule.

This would keep your house tidier and would force you to slow down before giving in to the impulse to shop.

Gathering up a bag of unneeded items for donation also makes you think about how much money you wasted on those things.

It might help train your brain to associate a bit of healthy pain with shopping, instead of pleasure.

3) Exercise

You knew I was going to say this, didn’t you?!

Exercise helps balance brain chemicals and makes us happy. Additionally, sometimes the urge to shop comes from boredom or excess nervous energy.

What our bodies might really be asking for is movement. Here are a bunch of ways to add more movement to your day.

4) Task Tackler

Your brain releases dopamine when you finish something.

And it doesn’t matter whether the task is small or large. The happiness boost is the same. (You can go ahead and cheat and write down all the small steps it will take to finish a large project!)

You know that satisfying little ping you get after checking an item off your to-do list? Thank dopamine.

So go ahead and create a to do list for your day, week, month, year, decade – whatever floats your boat. And start checking things off.

5) Reverse Shopping

That pile of stuff you created when you decluttered?

List some of it on eBay, PoshMark, or take it to a consignment shop. Earn some cash from your discards.

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Start a new savings account and set aside small amounts of money for something you really want (a vacation?). Or start an investment account – it only takes $5 to do so with the Stash app, and you get that $20 free when you sign up.

Working towards a goal boost dopamine levels in the brain, so every time you see your balance go up, you get a little shot of happy.

6) Call a Friend

When you want to shop, maybe what you’re really craving is companionship.

I remember an era when I was a young stay at home mom. I was so lonely, I would run an errand every day just to encounter another adult. This wasted time and gas.

Eventually, I joined up with some mom’s groups and found the human interaction I craved. So text or call a friend or invite someone over instead of reaching for the debit card.

The desire to shop might disappear altogether. This is especially true if the desire to shop is coming from deeper needs that are unmet.

Learn how to stop emotional spending. Try mindfulness when your feelings are overwhelming.

7) Get Handsy

Make something with your hands. When you’re in creative mode, it’s dopamine that helps you reach that state of “flow”, a major contributor to happiness.

So work on your favorite DIY project or hobby when tempted to shop.

Bonus points if the activity saves you money! Ideas: prep some freezer meals for those busy or tired days when you might be tempted by take-out. Paint something to make it prettier. Give yourself a mani/pedi. Make muffins for an elderly neighbor. Bake bread.

8) Listen to Music

Hearing music you enjoy costs nothing and releases dopamine (unless you overdose on Morrissey – but didn’t you learn that lesson in the 90’s?).

When I need a mood boost I crank up Spotify. I like French Cafe Radio to transport me. Which reminds me that I long for Paris, and shopping isn’t going to help me get there.

9) Have a Blast with the Past

Grab that box of old-school photos from the top of your closet (I know I’m not the only one with one of those!). Sit down with a cup of tea to look at them.

Looking at old photos tends to remind us that people and experiences matter, things don’t.

My kids love looking at old pictures and asking questions about themselves at various ages. We can spend an entire afternoon doing this. Reminiscing about good memories makes us happier.

10) Journal

If your life is feeling out of control or unhappy in some way, you’ll be especially attracted to shopping. Try journaling about your feelings.

Are you bored and need to take on a challenge in your life? Lonely and need to schedule coffee with a friend? Maybe you’re truly depressed and self-medicating with shopping.

Journaling can help you figure these things out so you can take action. More tips on how to save money on mental health.

11) Go Cold Turkey

Declare a spending fast or a “no spend month”.

Sometimes it’s easier to quit something cold turkey once (at least for a while), instead of saying no to yourself over and over.

Try a no spend challenge to re-set your bad habits with money. It shows up weak areas (I’m talking to you, coffee and books!) and mindless spending.

12) More Help

Check out Anna Newell Jones’ excellent book, The Spender’s Guide to a Debt-Free Life. It has a huge, long list of things to do instead of shop in the appendix. Tons of fun ideas from a former shopaholic. This read made my list of personal finance books read this year.

Download my DopaMenu here.

What’s a DopaMenu?

…dopamine menus are essentially personalized lists of activities, tasks, or experiences that make you happy,

 Artisa Moten, LMFT, licensed marriage and family therapist

Dopamine menus are especially helpful for people with ADHD, who might struggle with impulse purchases more than neurotypicals. More info on that, and how to create your own, here.

When you’re craving shopping, try reaching for your dopamine menu instead, and doing a couple of the activities on it.

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