Heart shaped box

Figuratively speaking.

A fellow mom of a preemie tweeted a picture of her son’s isolette with the caption, “My heart was trapped in this box for 8 weeks“.

It reminded me of song lyrics.

I read that Hole’s Doll Parts and Nirvana’s Heart-Shaped Box (from the album In Utero, of all things) were inspired by the same event: Courtney Love’s gift to Kurt Cobain of a (wait for it…) heart-shaped box containing, among other things, doll parts.

Today my therapist said, “your mood goes up or down depending on what’s going on with him“.

Yes. 

Shooting at hospital: panic, vulnerable, fear, terror.
Baby’s belly is distended, another round of x-rays, nurse won’t let me hold him: sadness, anger, grief, resentment.
Baby weighs 3 pounds today: happiness!

I’ve been locked inside your heart shaped box for weeks. 

I am…
Doll parts.