One Month


Today was a good day, the best I've had in I'm not sure when. Josiah is a month old today, and for the first time, I am no longer drowning in fear that he's not going to make it. Today after we did kangaroo care, the nurse and respiratory therapist put him back into his isolette, but first … [Continue reading]



Josiah, Today my heart broke all over again. I didn't realize until the other day how vulnerable I feel all the time now. It started with your birth and it continues. It's so frightening. All I want to do is protect you, and I can do so little for you. It's torture, little one. Today was an … [Continue reading]

Heart shaped box


Figuratively speaking. A fellow mom of a preemie tweeted a picture of her┬áson's isolette with the caption, "My heart was trapped in this box for 8 … [Continue reading]

Complicated attacks

I try very hard to keep my life simple. Minimalists inspire me. I read this article recently about Mark Zuckerberg (yes, that Mark Zuckerberg) where … [Continue reading]

and your angry eyes, just in case

My therapist told me I was experiencing grief. Well, I'm officially in the anger phase. Because I am so mad little one. I don't know what to do with … [Continue reading]

The same thing happens every day


Dear baby, The same thing happens every day. I say to myself, "tomorrow, I'll rest more", " tomorrow, I'll take it easy", "tomorrow, I'll pump … [Continue reading]

Mama gets her mojo back

daddy does kangaroo care

Josiah, Mom is feeling better each day now. When I come see you, I feel happy and hopeful instead of overwhelmed with sadness. It's still so hard … [Continue reading]

90 minutes


Josiah, Last night I slept almost all night without waking! When I got up this morning, I felt like I could conquer the world. And the best part of … [Continue reading]

Baby steps

Josiah, today you gave me a special treat. When I saw you, I almost didn't recognize you. They removed your hat and face mask and have you using a … [Continue reading]

Good news and bad news


Well little one, it's not just your mommy that has the nightmares. Daddy has them too. Last night he sat up in bed and said, "Where's Josiah?!". I … [Continue reading]