When I woke up this morning I got a huge burst of energy and went around the house cleaning, decluttering and organizing. My 9 year old and I tackled the little girls' room. I organized Josiah's dresser and clothes and my own dresser. I decluttered my closet, organized the junk drawer (those … [Continue reading]


I walked into the NICU a few days ago and saw that Josiah was no longer on CPAP, but had a tiny, thin nasal cannula giving him a bit of breathing assistance. I tried not to get too excited, because his cannula was removed once before and he had to go back on it. But this time was for keeps … [Continue reading]

Over it


I hate this place. I hate how dark it is inside. I hate the beeps and blips and alarms. I hate the wires. I hate the plastic and the smell of … [Continue reading]

Fragile flower


Two days ago a new preemie was wheeled into the NICU. This happens all the time when I'm there. The nurses, doctor and respiratory therapist all hover … [Continue reading]

One Month


Today was a good day, the best I've had in I'm not sure when. Josiah is a month old today, and for the first time, I am no longer drowning in fear … [Continue reading]



Josiah, Today my heart broke all over again. I didn't realize until the other day how vulnerable I feel all the time now. It started with your … [Continue reading]

Heart shaped box


Figuratively speaking. A fellow mom of a preemie tweeted a picture of her┬áson's isolette with the caption, "My heart was trapped in this box for 8 … [Continue reading]

Complicated attacks

I try very hard to keep my life simple. Minimalists inspire me. I read this article recently about Mark Zuckerberg (yes, that Mark Zuckerberg) where … [Continue reading]

and your angry eyes, just in case

My therapist told me I was experiencing grief. Well, I'm officially in the anger phase. Because I am so mad little one. I don't know what to do with … [Continue reading]

The same thing happens every day


Dear baby, The same thing happens every day. I say to myself, "tomorrow, I'll rest more", " tomorrow, I'll take it easy", "tomorrow, I'll pump … [Continue reading]