Victoria the Sage

 

Inbetween using my phone to take dozens of selfies of her feet (feetsies?) and hiding in luggage, my 4 year old daughter speaks nuggets of wisdom. I call her Victoria the Sage.

She randomly makes delightfully humorous and profound statements. A few examples follow.

On beauty and femininity:

“When people are mean, they’re not beautiful. When people are nice they’re beautiful. When ballerinas are mean, they’re not ballerinas. But when they’re good, they are ballerinas!”

On common sense and learning from our mistakes:

“When we put our fingers in the fire, they burned us!”

On spelling things out for clueless adults:

“Mommy, you can hold her. Be careful not to spill her.”

“Mommy, you’re getting on my two nerves.”

“Mommy, you’re making me sick.”

“I want some hot cocoa. But don’t put anything nasty in it.”

On personal hygiene (questionable):

“When we pick our nose, that’s nasty.”

“My toes aren’t yucky, they’re delicious!”

Just pure cuteness:

“Daddy took me to the splash fountain!”

Me: “Did you have fun?”

“Um… probably. But I was very hungry and very tired.”

“I don’t look pretty in this. I look fabulous!”

On dealing with authority: 

“I call you yes, ma’am. Because your last name is yes, ma’am.”

On God:

“I’ve got to go now (to our place of worship). Jehovah is waiting for me.”

And my personal favorite:

“I love my Daddy so much, it’s ridiculous.”