When I woke up this morning I got a huge burst of energy and went around the house cleaning, decluttering and organizing.
My 9 year old and I tackled the little girls’ room. I organized Josiah’s dresser and clothes and my own dresser. I decluttered my closet, organized the junk drawer (those drawer dividers for cutlery work perfect for this).
I threw out 3 bags of clutter from around the house.
I organized my linen closet and created tons of extra storage space.
I’ve been so tired in the mornings lately from waking up to pump at night, and from the stress of my schedule as of late, so this burst of energy really surprised me. It seemed to come from out of nowhere.
But then a couple of hours into it, something struck me.
I would be nearly 35 weeks pregnant at this point.
Now I get it.
Even though my baby is 7 weeks old and I’m no longer pregnant, I know he’ll be coming home soon and I need to get things ready.
I made a list of things we still need to buy for the baby. I created a baby registry, which was odd … because Target.com asked me when the baby is due to arrive.
I didn’t know what to put there… it didn’t allow me to go back in time on the calendar so I couldn’t input his birth date. I had to choose my due date, which was weird because obviously baby is already here.
(Side note: I find the idea of registry somewhat distasteful, but other people seem to like them so I created one. People always ask if you have a registry. I suppose it makes it easier for them to buy me a gift that they know I’ll want and use.)
The special care nursery at the hospital where my baby is a patient is shaped like a long hallway. The tiniest and sickest babies are at the far end, furthest from the door. The full term and bigger babies who are getting ready to go home are near the entrance. I’ve watched as babies went from the far end to the “close to discharge” end with a twinge of envy.
Today when I walked into the NICU it was my baby that was in an open crib close to the door.
The staff must know how hard it is for me everyday to not tuck him into the front of my shirt and walk out.
A couple of days ago they attached a security tag to his ankle like a little inmate.
Scary sounding alarm bells would go off if anyone attempted to take him outside the doors of the NICU.
I’ve told my husband that once Josiah is home, I’m going to have the babymoon that I did not get to experience 7 weeks ago. I told him that we are going to stock up on frozen meals and that I’m not going to leave my bed for 3 days. I’m going to spend all of my time cuddling and nursing my baby, fattening him up and getting to know him.
Up to this point it’s the nurses that spend 12 hours a day with him and they probably know him better than I do.
I honestly don’t want to leave my house for several weeks after I take him home. Not only will I need that time to get into a routine with him, but I’ll also need to help him learn how to nurse effectively and keep careful track of his output. There will also be numerous doctor appointments. Things will be more complicated than they are with a “termie”.
In addition, it isn’t safe for me to take him places where there are crowds of people.
I’m looking forward to bundling him up warmly, strapping him to the front of my chest in a wrap, and taking him outside for walks with my other children, especially when the weather is warm and sunny like it is today.
But other than that I have no desire to go anywhere.
We have a lot of catching up to do.